I’ve become such a serious Bravo addict that there’s honestly nothing on Bravo I won’t watch. I always thought of myself as “above” reality television. “Oh, she watches REALITY television” I would say. Perhaps I would roll my eyes. Perhaps I would give the person I was talking to a “knowing” look. You know the one – the one that says “I read novels, and watch shows on the premium channels like HBO and showtime, dramatic television series with really intense, complicated plots that sometimes I don’t even understand” when in actuality, I’ve seen no less than 4 Friends reruns this week. THIS. WEEK.
Anyway, for some reason I spent years avoiding Bravo. Because I thought the Real Housewives was insanity. I mean – at least the other reality television shows, the really gutsy ones like “The Real World” were putting people in awkward situations with each other and allowing us to watch the drama that ensued. Real Housewives episodes are just watching women that are wealthy spend their money. It seems as though that could possibly be the worst display of disgusting human behavior. For observers, not the Housewives themselves of course. They’re just fabulous.
Then I lived with someone that was slightly obsessed with the OC Housewives. You know who you are. I did not seek out the episodes, but I was often in the room when they were on TV. I suppose it was the same as any addiction could be. I was only doing it when someone else was doing it. Socially. I wasn’t sitting at home watching episodes by myself. Then over time, I added more shows to my lineup. The Real Housewives of Atlanta. But that was only because a friend went to high school with Kim, and another friend lived down the street from her. So it was really a different kind of human interest. Then the cooking shows sparked my interest. But, I like cooking, and I was just furthering my own cooking education, wasn’t I? Then the New York housewives. But they were sophisticated. So it doesn’t count. Then the Millionaire Matchmaker. But wasn’t she giving me dating advice? And I need that. And sure I might not be looking at the same houses that the folks on Million Dollar Listing are looking at, but someday, I might buy a home, and maybe watching these episodes will help me in that decision making.
And here I sit, watching Pregnant in Heels. I am not pregnant. Sure, I wear heels, but that’s really all I can find for common ground between me and this show. I am watching a woman that has been hired, not only to help a young couple, but be FLOWN IN to help a young couple choose their babies “color”. They can’t allow her to have pink as a color, because their first baby “owns” that color. Perhaps if I was having a second baby, and Anna didn’t “own” just about everything in our lives, I would have this same need, and perhaps I would need to hire this woman. I’m not even kidding you – I don’t even know what this woman’s name is. Rosie? I don’t know. I just know she’s on Bravo.
And I believe this is my rock bottom Bravo addiction moment.
I’ve realized that the announcer guy that talks about all the upcoming reality shows on Bravo makes me feel safe. When he says “Only by Bravo” I smile. Today I thought I saw Chris Manzo in the parking lot of my office. Over this past weekend I was talking to a friend and compared myself to one of the Housewives. And look at that – I just capitalized Housewives. And then I did it again. I actually think I’ve fallen in love with Melissa and Joe Gorga. As a couple. While I’m watching Bravo, and the Bravo commercial comes on and shows all the stars that are currently on Bravo, I get really excited. When I turn on the TV, it just stays on Bravo, unless it’s really early in the morning and I want to know what’s going on outside of Los Angeles and New York City.
For all of these reasons, and the fact that I am still watching the damn Pregnant in Heels episode, because I want to see if the mom that needed a nanny is going to learn to “trust” again, I believe, I need to take a Bravo hiatus.
I have to go – Watch what happens Live is on, and it’s going to recap something I watched about 90 minutes ago on Bravo.