Sometimes the things that Banana says are so unbelievably cute that I can’t correct her. I listen to other parents talk through the phonetics with their children, I get that I’m probably shifting her towards a state school instead of ivy league as I’m doing this. I do. I can’t help it.
Since we are talking about lack of development here, I promise the way I spelled things below is RIGHT ON.
“Momma, have you seen my babing suit?”
“Momma, I smell someping.”
“Momma, you should not wear that hat, it makes you look BULBED!”
“Momma, I love our Department.” (side, but important note, we live in an apartment)
“Momma, Kate’s Department has a POOL” (in reference to a coworker’s hotel room)
“Momma, don’t you try to put that DIX on me” (in reference to Vix, this evening, she has a cold)
In the same way, sometimes the things she doesn’t understand frustrate me to no end. I should be referencing a book or at least a blog of “What she does at 5” or something, but I’m not. You knew I wasn’t. I used to read parenting books when she was a baby and slept for 14 to 16 hours a day and I couldn’t follow suit, but that led to me spending most of my time – or rather, the 8 hours she was awake, staring at her to find something to be worried about. Anyway, any frustration I do have is always my own doing. I know this. I didn’t say I was smart. You’d think I would have caught on by now, but whatever, I was relaxing tonight, she was coloring, I was looking at a magazine, and happened to see a bean bag, and sometimes (maybe it’s the lack of adults in my house) I forget who I’m talking to….
E: Wouldn’t it be fun if you had a comfy chair or a bean bag to put in your room or the playroom? (I’m a consuuuuuumer, it’s a problem)
A: Yah, let’s get one!
E: Ok, I’ll keep my eyes open for one.
A: Why would you close your eyes?
E: No I mean, I’ll look for one.
A: Where will you look?
E: I don’t know, I’ll just look around.
A: Around the house?
E: No, just, if we’re out or something then I’ll see if there’s one around.
A: Where are we going? I’ll get my sweatshirt. Can I wear my panda sweatshirt?
E: We’re not going anywhere honey right now, I just mean IF we HAPPEN to be OUT, then maybe we will find one.
A: Okay, so we’ll go tomorrow?
E: No honey you have school tomorrow.
A: When will we go?
E: I’ll just look in GENERAL honey.
A: What does general mean?
E: It just means we’re not going to go tomorrow, I’ll just look if we happen to be out, sometime over the next couple of weeks.
A: Ok so the day after tomorrow?
E: No you have school all week honey.
A: Ok, then on Saturday?
E: Sure. Yup, Saturday.
This was around 6:30 or 7:00. We ran through our bedtime routine, I read her books, gave her medicine, turned on the humidifier, sang about 15 versions of Brandi Carlisle songs, talked through why Rudolph does not appear in the night before Christmas, and I turned off the lights, came in the living room and sat down. About 15 minutes later, when I have (of course) wrongly assumed she must be passed out, I hear her door creeeaaak open.
A: Momma, will it be pink?
E: Will what be pink?
A: My new beanbag we’re getting tomorrow.