Hey guys. Happy Oscars.
How was your weekend?
Ours, was a weekend of discoveries.
A recap, of course, here:
I discovered Bikram yoga: Have you guys done this before? What it is, in short: a specified number of yoga poses (somewhere near 30 I think?) that you repeat for about 90 minutes in a room that feels like it’s about 190 degrees. My friends have gone, and been all “I lost 20 pounds with Bikram” and “Bikram changed my life” and “Bikram made me a better person”, so I thought I’d try.
And y’know what’s super fucking hard?
Bikram yoga, you guys. Bikram yoga is SUPER. FUCKING. HARD. And if your friends tell you all of those things, and don’t tell you that it’s super fucking hard, they are super fucking liars. Because it is. So the entire time – in my head, I was thinking “Youneverhavetodothisagain” overandoverandover again. And thinking of running. And thinking of what people would do if I ran? Like – if I just walked out, pretending I ran out of water, but then kept on walking?
But I didn’t.
Even though I really, really wanted to.
And at the end, the instructor said, “You did it Erin!” and the whole class turned to me and clapped. And I thought oh, fuck. Because of course that was all I needed – that small little boost of support – to decide that I’d do it again.
Anna discovered my wine stopper: Anna got up early on Saturday – like, crazy early, and although I was up, I didn’t want her to be up, so I sent her back to bed. But it was coldish. And I bought a heated mattress pad this winter, so my bed is warmish. So I sent her back to my bed. And after about 10 minutes of listening to her rustle around in there, I finally went back in and accepted defeat, and told her she could get up. And she pulled her hand out from under my pillow, and held something up, and said, “What is this Mama, is it a wine stopper?”
And I said, “Ummmm, yah. That’s a wine stopper.”
But you guys.
It wasn’t a wine stopper.
It WASN’T. A. WINE. STOPPER.
We discovered Fort Foster: We’d discovered it before, of course – having been up here random weekends to meet my sister and family – but this morning, we met up with a friend (and her dog) and grabbed coffee at the local coffee shop (better described as: the coffee shop that serves the most heavenly baked goods on earth) and drove out to the gate. Although it’s technically closed for the off-season – we weren’t the only ones there, it was flooded with other Kitterians and their hounds, since the weather was so lovely. And we walked forever, while Anna collected seashells, and my friend and I caught up, and when we found a place to park for a minute, ran into a couple I’d just seen at Lil’s. And because it’s Kittery, when I asked if they’d just been there – that led to a conversation that lasted 15 mintues. They’d moved up here from Newton 10 years ago – and like me, two months in, wondered why everyone in the northeast wasn’t here already. Because this was where we stood, for our Sunday morning conversation:
And I don’t think there could be anything better than good coffee, good company, and new friends, here. Really.
Between that, and my parents, sister, brothernlaw and nephew coming over for dinner tonight, I thought again – for what seems like the millionth time in two months, how happy I am that we’re here. How no place since she was born – no place since I left my own hometown, has felt this good, this warm, this home. How it seems like I’ve been looking for this for so, so long – in a way that I didn’t even know I had been.
If you want to discover how strong you are, mentally and physically (because you are) go to Bikram yoga. If you want to avoid figuring out to avoid talking through how a wine stopper would end up in your bed, DON’T LEAVE A WINE STOPPER IN YOUR BED.
And if things are as awful as you thought they could be, and you’ve dropped to the floor in the midst of chaos, just wait. Because three months later, you could be home.