I started at a new office this week, and with that comes a whole new set of ways to embarass myself, it’s fabulous. Yesterday, I went to the bathroom, and although this is too much information, while I was in the stall, I heard a faint noise. Almost like a balloon deflating. You know the sound. Of course, I thought it was someone three stalls over that was trying to control whatever was happening in her respective stall. Then I realized, it was the sound of the door of my stall….SLOOOOOOOOWLY creeeeeeeeping open. Because the lock was broken. What’s even better about that is I had drank about 16 gallons of water before I went in. What adds to the already great greatness of this story is how far the stall door is from the toilet. So when you’ve taken in about 16 gallons of water, and you have to leeeeean over to grab the door so it doesn’t open in your new office space, it makes the experience sliiiiiiighly more painful. Was everyone else in the bathroom (full house, 5 stalls) listening to the RIDICULOUSLY extensive sound of me going to the bathroom? Could they see my fintertips desparately grabbing onto the bottom of the stall, wondering if I was going to fall off the seat? It’s unknowable. What is knowable is that it took me about 7 minutes too long to get in and out of that stall. I only suspect that some of my lovely coworkers caught sight of my red heels and knew it was me, but thank goodness, since I took 4 HOURS to go, by the time I was able to let go of the door and let it swing WIDE OPEN, I was alone.